I’m not exactly sure where it comes from but I’ve had a recent flash of inspiration to start working on more things. I have been making a list of things that I would like to achieve and starting tomorrow I am gonna be working on that list. I have already started on some self-improvement activities. I have been exercising regularly, developing my cooking skills, and trying to work on things that I can improve about myself by not hiding myself away so much. It hasn’t exactly been easy but it’s a step that I just need to take.

So starting tomorrow I’ll also be undertaking more, including building up this site. I’ve had this website for a while now, but for a long time I’ve only really been using it as a blog, and even then often with long quiet periods. I would like that to change, so in turn the site is also going to change. I’m gonna start by planning out exactly what I want on it, and I’ll start to build it up from there.
I’m also going to be using the blog section more. I mostly use it for venting out my personal thoughts and feelings, and I will continue with that. It’s a good way to document how you feel about stuff so you can look back later and see what has changed, where you’ve come and give you a better idea about what you can do now.
But I will also be using it for more things. Growing up I never had much urge to do writing, but Helina seems to have inspired something in me that is itching to write. She has always encouraged me and I guess that has helped to give me more confidence. So I’ll be writing more about lots of things that come to mind on my blog, and probably working on some fiction as well. I guess we’ll see where that goes

I am also gonna try to get back into some personal programming projects. Since I started to work, all my coding time has been in my job but that’s also something I would like to change. It was always a hobby for me and I would like to get back into that. It would help boost my skills for my career as well as turn up some surprising ideas perhaps

Then there’s learning guitar. I have been saying for yeeears that I’m gonna do this, but it just never happens. I actually once got to a point where I was learning chords but then I got out of habit and well.. you know how it goes. But this time I’m gonna stick at it!

So those things are gonna be keeping me busy, but lately I’ve also been looking a bit deeper. Specifically, where do I want my life to go? It’s a big question but things have felt rather stale for me for too long. Beyond working on these hobbies to start up, I also looked at the other parts of life.

The idea is if I set out what I would like out of life, I can then plan out how I’m going to achieve those and start taking it step by step. These range from the simple ones like having my eyesight fixed (surgery… brrr… but worth it), to more complex ones like fixing my social problems. I’m starting to face up to the fact that I do have social issues. I’ve always known I do, but only now do I really want to put it right. It’s not helping me at all. The details of that were in the last blog entry, so I wont go into it again. I’ll probably address it again soon though.
Then there’s the romance side of my life. Call me soppy, but I’m someone who has a lot of love to give, and I want to have someone in my life who I can love and live out my days with side by side. I then thought about what kinda person I would like to be with. Who is my ideal partner? And this is what I came up with:

She would be someone who gets me and my oddities. She would be funny, in a cute way, and always able to put a smile on my face. She’d be intelligent, creative and open minded, yet quirky (but not too much ) cause for me that can be kinda cute. She’d be down to earth, not too loud, someone who I can talk to easily but where it’s ok to have quieter periods to chill, someone passionate and open to romance, someone I can have fun with and embrace our sillier sides, but also be serious when necessary, someone I can trust, and someone who will work together as a team, as a couple, to overcome any difficulties.

They are the qualities that I’m looking for, yet as I read over them, it all seems rather familiar… But there is also one thing missing in the list, and that is that she would want me back. That is a part that is not as familiar. I have felt hints of it, but not enough to convince me that I can stop my search. So I guess I’ll keep an eye out until I find someone, or the other decides she wants me too.

So that’s the plan of where to go next… let’s see how it gooooes Wish me luck